A Jewish wedding is built from a handful of old, meaningful rituals: signing the ketubah (marriage contract), the bedeken (veiling), the ceremony under the chuppah (canopy), circling, the ring, the seven blessings, and breaking a glass to shouts of Mazel tov. Afterward comes yichud, a few private minutes, and then the hora, with the couple hoisted up on chairs.
Customs vary a lot by community. Ashkenazi and Sephardic families do some things differently, and so do the movements, as our guide to Orthodox, Conservative, and Reform Judaism explains. What follows is the general shape, the version you are most likely to see at an American Jewish wedding, whether it is your own, your cousin's, or your first one as a very curious guest.
What Is a Ketubah?
The ketubah is the Jewish marriage contract, and it is one of the oldest parts of the whole event. The traditional text is written in Aramaic and spells out the husband's obligations to his wife, including food, clothing, and shelter. It was a protective document for the bride at a time when women had very few legal protections, and it becomes hers to keep.
Two witnesses sign it, usually before the ceremony, often in a smaller room with close family and a lot of emotional aunts. Many modern couples choose egalitarian texts that describe commitments both partners make to each other. Either way, the ketubah is often a genuine work of art, framed and hung at home for decades, and it is usually read aloud under the chuppah so everyone can witness the promise.
What Is the Bedeken?
The bedeken is the veiling of the bride, and it is often the most tearful few minutes of the day. The groom, usually escorted by singing friends and family, goes to the bride and lowers the veil over her face.
Two biblical stories sit behind it. Rebecca covered her face with a veil when she first saw Isaac (Genesis 24:65). And Jacob, who famously married Leah when he thought he was marrying Rachel (Genesis 29), is the reason many say the groom looks at his bride before veiling her: nobody wants a repeat of that surprise. Among many Sephardic families, a henna celebration in the days before the wedding is the more prominent pre-wedding ritual.
Why Do Couples Stand Under a Chuppah?
The chuppah is the wedding canopy: a cloth, sometimes a family tallit, held up by four poles, sometimes carried by four friends. It represents the home the couple is about to build together, and its open sides are often read as a sign that the home will welcome guests.
Even very secular couples tend to keep it. If you are ever asked to hold a chuppah pole, it is an honor. Please do not wander off to the bar.
Why Does the Bride Circle the Groom?
In the Ashkenazi tradition, the bride circles the groom seven times when she arrives under the chuppah. Seven echoes the seven days of creation, and the circling is often read as the couple building the walls of their new world together, a small creation story of their own.
Plenty of couples adapt this one. A common modern version has each partner circle the other three times and then the pair circle once together, which still adds up to seven. Many Sephardic communities do not have a circling custom at all.
What Happens During the Ring Ceremony?
The ring is the legal heart of the Jewish wedding. The groom gives the bride a ring and says, in Hebrew, "Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring, according to the law of Moses and Israel." In traditional practice, the ring is a plain band without stones, and it is placed on the bride's right index finger. Many couples move it to the ring finger later.
This first part of the ceremony, called kiddushin or erusin (betrothal), comes with a blessing over a cup of wine that the couple shares.
This first part of the ceremony, called kiddushin or erusin (betrothal), comes with a blessing over a cup of wine that the couple shares. In many liberal ceremonies, both partners give rings and both say the Hebrew words, sometimes with a line of their own added.
What Are the Seven Blessings?
The sheva brachot, the seven blessings, form the second part of the ceremony. They are chanted over a second cup of wine, often by a rabbi, cantor, or honored friends and relatives, each taking a turn. The blessings move from creation, to the creation of humanity, to the joy of the couple and the hope of a rejoicing Jerusalem, and they end with a blessing for the joy of bride and groom together.
In many traditional communities, the celebration does not stop at the wedding. Friends host festive meals during the following week, and the seven blessings are recited again at each one. It is the rare case where a week of parties is a religious obligation.
Why Do Jews Break a Glass at a Wedding?
At the end of the ceremony, a glass wrapped in cloth or a napkin goes on the floor, and the groom, or in many modern weddings both partners, stomps on it. Everyone yells "Mazel tov," and the band kicks in.
The custom is often traced to two stories in the Talmud (Berakhot 30b to 31a), in which rabbis at their sons' weddings broke expensive glassware when the guests got a little too rowdy, to temper the joy. The most common explanation today connects it to the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, following Psalm 137's call to set Jerusalem above our highest joy. Even at the happiest moment, the tradition remembers what was lost. Others read it as a reminder of how fragile relationships are, or simply as the signal that the party has officially begun.
As for Mazel tov, it means congratulations, and you will hear it all night. Our Jewish glossary covers it along with simcha, the word for a joyous occasion like this one.
What Is Yichud?
Right after the ceremony, many couples go straight to a private room for yichud, meaning togetherness or seclusion. It usually lasts a few minutes, often about ten to twenty, and it is the first time they are alone as a married couple. In traditional practice, the bride and groom fast on their wedding day, treating it as a personal day of atonement and new beginnings (which is why many grooms wear a white kittel), so yichud is also where they finally get something to eat.
For guests, yichud is the reason the couple disappears. Nothing is wrong. Go find the cocktail hour.
What Is the Hora?
Then comes the dancing. The hora is a circle dance where everyone links arms or holds hands and spins around and around, often to "Hava Nagila." Before long, the couple is lifted up on chairs and carried over the crowd, sometimes each holding one end of a napkin so they stay connected, while their friends try to keep them level.
Parents often get lifted too. It is chaotic, loud, joyful, and completely unforgettable, and it is the part of a Jewish wedding that non-Jewish guests talk about for years.
Going to a Jewish Wedding Soon?
If you are a guest, you do not need to know every blessing. Show up, stand for the processional, say Mazel tov with enthusiasm, and join the circle when the hora starts. If you are still figuring out what to bring, our Jewish wedding gift guide covers the customs, including why so many guests give in multiples of 18.
Every family does it a little differently. That is part of the beauty. The chuppah, the glass, and the chair are just the beginning of the story.